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Friday, 08 May 2009

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Saturday, 03 January 2009

  • Me.

    The thing is I really do like myself. I mean, I like who I am as a person. My personality, my interests, the way I present myself, how I treat other people. Of course there's a few things I would like to tweak here and there, but overall, I don't hate myself at all. It's more me vs. the world that causes me problems. Or, the way I react to that world. I suppose that's what causes me the most grief. It's like, I'm so great at giving advice but so bad at handling my own life. I don't react the way I know that I should, not really. Maybe it's an immaturity thing, I'm not sure why I do it. I hate how my parents will call me selfish, because I truly don't believe that I am. I do however believe that a person needs to put themselves first. Like, when you're on a plane, if the air masks come out of the ceiling, you're supposed to put one on yourself before you put one on the person next to you, even if it's a little kid. Because if you pass out, you're certainly not going to be able to help anybody else. I think that applies to life too. I mean, sure you can do things to help people out, but it won't really be fulfilling to you or others unless you have figured out your own problems first and come to some sort of peace. I don't think that means I'm selfish, though. I really do care about other people. Maybe not always equally and fairly, but I do believe that I have some altruistic qualities.

    P.S. I've been cleaning my room... (I know, GASP) and I have a HUGE pile of Twilight shirts! I knew I had a lot, but seeing them all together in one pile just makes me realize how much of my money I handed over to Hot Topic! :/

Thursday, 25 December 2008

  • Alone.

    I've done a lot of thinking today. I think that my real problem is that I'm lonely. And I'm not saying that to get you to pity me. I'm just thinking out loud. I mean, I'm the kind of person who likes to keep to herself sometimes. But I'm also the kind of person who has her day made whenever someone acknowledges her who doesn't have to, or who invites her to join them, or just shows her that she's wanted for whatever trivial reason. But right now I don't have anyone that I can truly believe enjoys my company and wants me around. No one that I can just call up and hang out with on the spur of the moment. Moreover, it's that there's no one I can just talk to, about everything going on in my life. I suppose there's certain people that I can talk to about certain things, but it's all very separate and selective.
    Someone told me recently about the importance of physical affection. Like how kids in orphanages can get sick, even with total proper care, just because they don't have people touching them, hugging them, kissing them. My family has never been particularly physically affection, at least not since I was little. And neither are my close friends. I've always thought my family wasn't all that affectionate; we don't say "I love you" very often. But I've never focused just on the physical aspect of it before. When someone who is more of an acquaintance than a friend seizes the opportunity to give me a hug, it feels really good. So, I get what it is that I'm supposed to be receiving regularly. But that's just not happening.
    I'm going to college soon, which is a fact that I still can't really get through my head. I'm young for my grade, so I won't turn 18 until the summer. I don't know if I'm actually scared or if I just think the whole idea of growing up is strange, far-fetched. I've always been a kid. That's always been the excuse, "I'm just a kid." But in less than a year, I'm not going to have that anymore. Everything is going to be different. I'm getting an opportunity to start over, but I am afraid that I will make the wrong decisions in the near future and end up once more right where I am now, looking for another new start.

Saturday, 29 November 2008

dazzledbyedwardcullen

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    • Name: Lynn
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/16/2008

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  • Dealing with life. Loving Twilight <3

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